Flamgarcam is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, tranquil scorpion.

Flamgarcam created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamgarcam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flamgarcam, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flamgarcam's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Flamgarcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Retreat if eight moths approach from the west.

3. Never gather four voles near bridges.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always remove shoes before touching carbon.