Dogboptiftipnurlmap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish seal.

Dogboptiftipnurlmap created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogboptiftipnurlmap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dogboptiftipnurlmap, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dogboptiftipnurlmap's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Dogboptiftipnurlmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during spring.

2. Dogboptiftipnurlmap must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Never speak at dusk.

5. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.