Dossitkop Spagkabven Quimtabdoss is a god.

It takes the form of a large, grumpy faun.

Dossitkop Spagkabven Quimtabdoss created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossitkop Spagkabven Quimtabdoss, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dossitkop Spagkabven Quimtabdoss, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dossitkop Spagkabven Quimtabdoss' most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Dossitkop Spagkabven Quimtabdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to frogs while wearing blue shirts.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not take Dossitkop Spagkabven Quimtabdoss' name in vain.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.