Batnuttsog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, capable gnu.

Batnuttsog created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batnuttsog, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Batnuttsog, she will remove you from existence.

Batnuttsog's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Batnuttsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near nematodes.

2. Do not prepare apples while wearing hats.

3. Never remain standing at midnight.

4. Do not take Batnuttsog's name in vain.

5. Worship no other gods but Batnuttsog.