Gofnurltetti is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish wren.

Gofnurltetti created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofnurltetti, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gofnurltetti, he will turn you into a rock.

Gofnurltetti's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gofnurltetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.