Dudfomcub is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, confident hippopotamus.

Dudfomcub created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dudfomcub, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dudfomcub, it will manifest in front of you.

Dudfomcub's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dudfomcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near horses while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing nine titanium spheres on your chest.

3. Never paint your arms black.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Dudfomcub loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.