Tifgomfod is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, clever fish.

Tifgomfod created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifgomfod, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tifgomfod, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tifgomfod's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tifgomfod's Holy Commandments

1. Tifgomfod loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

4. Feed all hungry horses.

5. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.