Farnvonhoglarngoftapnar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, deceitful spider.

Farnvonhoglarngoftapnar created the Black Eye Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnvonhoglarngoftapnar, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Farnvonhoglarngoftapnar, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Farnvonhoglarngoftapnar's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Farnvonhoglarngoftapnar's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing black coats and balancing eight platinum spheres on your neck.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about fire.