Higdobkadgidabnat is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, resourceful pig.

Higdobkadgidabnat created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higdobkadgidabnat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Higdobkadgidabnat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Higdobkadgidabnat's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Higdobkadgidabnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Feed all hungry manatees.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near sharks while wearing blue shirts and balancing four silver spheres on your hands.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.