Naktargteen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, amazing elephant.

Naktargteen created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Naktargteen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Naktargteen, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Naktargteen's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Naktargteen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Naktargteen first in all things.

2. Never wear red coats.

3. Do not take Naktargteen's name in vain.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

5. Never mention frogs.