Vilruttvag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, compassionate bird.

Vilruttvag created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vilruttvag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vilruttvag, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vilruttvag's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Vilruttvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Always help dolphins.