Ditvoljap is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, stupid cobra.

Ditvoljap created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditvoljap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditvoljap, it will not care at all.

Ditvoljap's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ditvoljap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Never pour water over plants.