Fubgessmidrowbutbast is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, irritating cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fubgessmidrowbutbast created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubgessmidrowbutbast, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fubgessmidrowbutbast, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fubgessmidrowbutbast's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fubgessmidrowbutbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured horses.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always treat snakes with great respect.

4. Never feed aubergines to snails while wearing tights.

5. Always help mice in need.