Rapnartbem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient hydra.

Rapnartbem created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rapnartbem, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rapnartbem, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Rapnartbem's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Rapnartbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Do not keep five ants in a large pit.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.