Gigkarfed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, clever badger.

Gigkarfed created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Gigkarfed, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gigkarfed, it will turn you into a plant.

Gigkarfed's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gigkarfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mites.

2. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never remain standing at midnight.