Cimkindad is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, charitable lizard.

Cimkindad created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Cimkindad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cimkindad, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cimkindad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Cimkindad's Holy Commandments

1. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never paint your neck green.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Respect your elders.