Ponstigxen Vagratrull is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful clam.

Ponstigxen Vagratrull created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponstigxen Vagratrull, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ponstigxen Vagratrull, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ponstigxen Vagratrull's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Ponstigxen Vagratrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of seals.

2. Feed all hungry rats.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.