Bithamjenbabdubomtgetgub is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, happy bat.

Bithamjenbabdubomtgetgub created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bithamjenbabdubomtgetgub, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bithamjenbabdubomtgetgub, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bithamjenbabdubomtgetgub's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bithamjenbabdubomtgetgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never bounce near tapirs.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about gravity near snakes while wearing orange hats.