Haknurlwon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous turtle.

Haknurlwon created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Haknurlwon, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Haknurlwon, she will not care at all.

Haknurlwon's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Haknurlwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet tights.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Badgers are not to be trusted.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Respect your elders.