Vogsandwon Hottunjen is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, omnipotent gorilla.

Vogsandwon Hottunjen created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogsandwon Hottunjen, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vogsandwon Hottunjen, it will have a low opinion of you.

Vogsandwon Hottunjen's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vogsandwon Hottunjen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Vogsandwon Hottunjen loves cats, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Run away if three swans approach from the north.