Teen Flabhitbog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, irritating mink.

Teen Flabhitbog created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teen Flabhitbog, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Teen Flabhitbog, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Teen Flabhitbog's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Teen Flabhitbog's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Worship no other gods but Teen Flabhitbog.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.