Dimteenkim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, duplicitous jellyfish.

Dimteenkim created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimteenkim, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimteenkim, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dimteenkim's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Dimteenkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle tin while unclean.

2. You must pray to Dimteenkim three times a day.

3. Always wash your back before prayer.

4. Never eat turnips.

5. Never allow birds to witness sacred rites.