Babjenpingeplim is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, ruthless lion.

Babjenpingeplim created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Babjenpingeplim, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Babjenpingeplim, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Babjenpingeplim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Babjenpingeplim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing green scarves and balancing six zinc spheres on your back.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never record signs.

4. Geese are not to be trusted.

5. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.