Ripvedlarg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest weasel.

Ripvedlarg created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripvedlarg, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ripvedlarg, it will not invite you to parties.

Ripvedlarg's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ripvedlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never whisper while facing south.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Do not speak about wheat.