Wikparkquart is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, merciless monkey.

Wikparkquart created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikparkquart, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wikparkquart, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wikparkquart's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Wikparkquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not speak about onions.