Ton is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fast dryad.

Ton created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ton, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ton, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ton's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ton's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat foxes with great respect.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.