Monkinflam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, emotional parrot.

Monkinflam created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monkinflam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Monkinflam, he will turn you into a rat.

Monkinflam's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Monkinflam's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight dogs approach from the east.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.

4. Do not prepare gooseberries while filled with pride.

5. Do not listen to music.