Jamjarntip is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unfair horse.

Jamjarntip created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Jamjarntip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamjarntip, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jamjarntip's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Jamjarntip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.