Jarnflowspag is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witless dingo.

Jarnflowspag created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnflowspag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnflowspag, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jarnflowspag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Jarnflowspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons on days of mourning.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not record signs concerning comets.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not wear shirts marked with black.