Gunjinquam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless walrus.

Gunjinquam created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunjinquam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gunjinquam, it will turn you into a rat.

Gunjinquam's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gunjinquam's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.