Hamhamtipgil is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, pitiless hedgehog.

Hamhamtipgil created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamhamtipgil, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hamhamtipgil, he will torture you forever.

Hamhamtipgil's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Hamhamtipgil's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hamhamtipgil first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Hide if six voles approach from the east.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Hamhamtipgil on top of all buildings.