Timlopgup is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, staggering scorpion.

Timlopgup created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timlopgup, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Timlopgup, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Timlopgup's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Timlopgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while tainted.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always store nuts above ground.

5. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.