Yokhinruttnig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic cat.

Yokhinruttnig created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokhinruttnig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yokhinruttnig, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yokhinruttnig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Yokhinruttnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Worship no other gods but Yokhinruttnig.