Rillarpyik is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, two-faced guinea pig.

Rillarpyik created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillarpyik, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rillarpyik, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rillarpyik's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Rillarpyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Rillarpyik on top of all buildings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Always look after injured bats.