Monpodragrill is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unthinking rhinoceros.

Monpodragrill created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monpodragrill, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Monpodragrill, it will turn you into a rock.

Monpodragrill's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Monpodragrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never mention mice.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.