Tafafmob Gatmidhim is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, blissful raven.

Tafafmob Gatmidhim created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafafmob Gatmidhim, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tafafmob Gatmidhim, she will refuse to believe in you.

Tafafmob Gatmidhim's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tafafmob Gatmidhim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tafafmob Gatmidhim.

2. Do not prepare coconuts while filled with pride.

3. Never allow manatees to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never feed rice to hamsters while wearing brown coats.

5. Never whisper while facing north.