Stiggabquambum is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, almighty lizard.

Stiggabquambum created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Stiggabquambum, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stiggabquambum, she will turn you into a snail.

Stiggabquambum's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Stiggabquambum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts on holy days.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always act with humility when addressing children.