Bassfarnfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent human.

Bassfarnfarn created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassfarnfarn, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bassfarnfarn, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bassfarnfarn's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bassfarnfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises in need.

2. Run away if three shrews approach from the north.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. You must pray to Bassfarnfarn nine times a day.

5. Never allow whales to witness sacred rites.