Kinsugsugstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, kind monkey.

Kinsugsugstrag created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinsugsugstrag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kinsugsugstrag, she will make you grow a tail.

Kinsugsugstrag's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Kinsugsugstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near monkeys.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kinsugsugstrag.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.