Flabsogciss is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent gerbil.

Flabsogciss created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabsogciss, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flabsogciss, it will remove you from existence.

Flabsogciss' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Flabsogciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flabsogciss.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near ducks while wearing indigo hats and balancing three tin spheres on your feet.