Hadflabpop is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonourable salamander.

Hadflabpop created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadflabpop, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hadflabpop, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hadflabpop's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Hadflabpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never paint your back magenta.

4. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in black.