Dapsabxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish bear.

Dapsabxuck created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapsabxuck, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dapsabxuck, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dapsabxuck's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dapsabxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about planets.