Quamgovnangum is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy jellyfish.

Quamgovnangum created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamgovnangum, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quamgovnangum, she will turn you into a dog.

Quamgovnangum's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Quamgovnangum's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of dogs.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

3. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

4. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

5. Never hurt ducks.