Wapyaklig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, effective rhinoceros.

Wapyaklig created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapyaklig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wapyaklig, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wapyaklig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wapyaklig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.