Fonlipwan is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, contented donkey.

Fonlipwan created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonlipwan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fonlipwan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Fonlipwan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fonlipwan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never sing in the presence of voles.

5. Never play with disobedient children.