Man is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident octopus.

Man created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Man, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Man, he will turn you into a hamster.

Man's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Man's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Man on top of all buildings.