Kamcebbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, generous snail.

Kamcebbeg created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kamcebbeg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kamcebbeg, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Kamcebbeg's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Kamcebbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near hamsters while wearing purple corsets and balancing three titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Hide from red bats for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bark.