Tif is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, kind lizard.

Tif created the Sol system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tif, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tif, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tif's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about gravity near grasshopers while wearing yellow ear rings.

3. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not kill birds.