Jighondutpig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid octopus.

Jighondutpig created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jighondutpig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jighondutpig, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jighondutpig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Jighondutpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never jump near cats.

3. You must pray to Jighondutpig six times a day.

4. Hide if eight geese approach from the west.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.