Flamfarzod Wapnurlan Likbigsom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unsympathetic porpoise.

Flamfarzod Wapnurlan Likbigsom created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamfarzod Wapnurlan Likbigsom, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flamfarzod Wapnurlan Likbigsom, she will turn you into a snail.

Flamfarzod Wapnurlan Likbigsom's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Flamfarzod Wapnurlan Likbigsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Always help geese in need.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not hurt hamsters.

5. Do not shave your feet.