Nurhunjan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest squirrel.

Nurhunjan created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurhunjan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurhunjan, it will jump up and down on your head.

Nurhunjan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Nurhunjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.