Cetcebcet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, generous deer.

Cetcebcet created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cetcebcet, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cetcebcet, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cetcebcet's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Cetcebcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Cetcebcet in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.