Quamfunsak Dimsterqueegladsafwab is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, effective shark.

Quamfunsak Dimsterqueegladsafwab created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamfunsak Dimsterqueegladsafwab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quamfunsak Dimsterqueegladsafwab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quamfunsak Dimsterqueegladsafwab's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Quamfunsak Dimsterqueegladsafwab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quamfunsak Dimsterqueegladsafwab.

2. Retreat if three voles approach from the south.

3. Erect six nickel sculptures of Quamfunsak Dimsterqueegladsafwab on top of important buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never look in ponds.