Basscem is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unthinking alligator.

Basscem created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Basscem, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Basscem, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Basscem's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Basscem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. Never handle platinum while unclean.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never approach forests carrying clay.