Stansombell is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, calm seal.

Stansombell created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stansombell, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stansombell, she will make you grow a tail.

Stansombell's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Stansombell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Never chant in the presence of snakes.

3. Run away if seven seals approach from the east.

4. Always obey Stansombell's priests.

5. Never think about nebulae.