Fossawhin is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, charitable octopus.

Fossawhin created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossawhin, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fossawhin, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fossawhin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Fossawhin's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear yellow ear rings on sacred days.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.