Tigmonwotzedhitnigbug Lakrawbog is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered gorilla.

Tigmonwotzedhitnigbug Lakrawbog created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigmonwotzedhitnigbug Lakrawbog, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tigmonwotzedhitnigbug Lakrawbog, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tigmonwotzedhitnigbug Lakrawbog's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tigmonwotzedhitnigbug Lakrawbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill foxes.

2. Never mention mites.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Do not study cell theory on holy days.